Preview of my new novel

Hello fellow nerds.  If you've read my older posts you know that I am an aspiring writer.  I finally decided to take the plunge on my first novel.  I have posted a very rough version of the prologue.  I really need anyone reading this blog to comment on this piece.  I want to write a decent novel and if I am off to a rough start I need to know.  Come on Nerds, give me your thoughts and tell your friends to pitch in as well.  I need all the feedback I can get.  Thanks guys!

Full Prologue

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